Friday, January 13, 2012

Depends, Gender or Style?

Am I the only fifty something that has noticed an increase in what it takes just to maintain these days?

My gorgeous, sexy, sweet GT guy gets better and better, the gray looks great on him, the tiny lines around his eyes make him look more like Tom Selleck. It takes him less than 20 minutes start to finish to get ready, and on lazy Saturdays when we lay around in our PJs for hours, he looks yummy with his tossed hair and day old stubble... I want to punch him.

Lately, my side of the bathroom looks more like a counter at a drug store. It takes a whole lot to get this gal so that she is not scary: Shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair, body wash for dry skin, face wash for aging skin, body lotion for aging skin, moisturizer for the face, age spot remover (so that my hairdresser does not scrub my face raw again thinking she got color on my skin!) puffy eye cream, fine line cream, special hand lotion, teeth whitening strips, flosses, sensitive toothpaste, hair color touch ups... then we have to add volume gel to the hair, and the make up. I have limited the make up over the past year to a little foundation, eye liner, mascara, a little blush and lip gloss; but still...at this point I am still not dressed. Getting dressed has even changed.

I have to have support everything... Control panties, uplifting bra, spanx - depending on the occasion. Then I have to stand in the mirror and pretend I look fabulous! I crack myself up thinking about the days of my youth when I barely wore underwear much less makeup! Such a scary thought these days. God has to be a man, a woman would have it reversed. I would long to see GT guy struggling at the side of the tub shaving his legs with a dull razor, or standing at the mirror plucking his eyebrows. The best would be to see my 6 ft. 2 inch hunk of a husband put himself into a pair of spanx. Seriously, I think all spanx should come with a warning: wear depends with them. I left the table at my husbands very fancy Christmas dinner to go to the ladies room, it took me a good 20 minutes to get the spanx, tights, slip, all back in place, before returning. Then I had to down my Cosmo in one gulp just to recover.

My Granny will be 90 years old this spring, she still drives, she still dresses to the nines every day and she wears lipstick 24/7. So, I guess I will keep it up for a few more years.

I like that look on GT face when I finally say, OK, I am ready!!

2 comments:

  1. do you hear me laughing out loud? And just so you know, I am laughing with you not at you.

    ReplyDelete