Change is near.....

They call it MENOPAUSE;

Ok, let's just start with that... of course they have to throw in the word MEN, after all they will inevitably get the brunt of the whole thing. But, is the word actually trying to indicate that we should take a pause from men at this stage in the game? Then there is of course the other kinder phrase.. you know, she is going through, "THE CHANGE".

You got that right buddy, she has changed from a calm, sweet, cool and comfortable southern girl to a crazed, irrational, sweaty hot mess, who if she hears that word "CHANGE" one more time she may start shooting.

It is like someone flipped a switch in my body. One night I am sleeping away, waking up happy and rested and the very next night it was BOOM; I am wide awake in the middle of the night with some type of lava lamp glowing from the inside, radiating to the outside. I am sweaty and have the uncontrolable urge to knock GT guy off the bed since he is sleeping like a baby. Does he not feel the heat??? Oh, that's right, it's not THAT type of heat. This goes on for days, along with the fact that I feel like I could do serious damage to people in Kroger with my buggy, just because.

So silly me, I am convinced that I am dying. I just know that something terrible is growing inside my body and causeing me to turn into Cathy Bates from Misery. So instead of breaking GT guys knee caps and holding him hostage, I go to the Doctor. I love my doctor; number one she is a female, number two she is not skinny, and number three, she held my hand and cried with me when I found out the first husband was cheating on me. So, I told her, that I am dying. I just need to know what from. She did not bat an eye, did her exam, took my chubby little cheeks in her hands and said, "you are not dying, you are starting MENOPAUSE".

What???? How dare she!!!!!!! I am dying!!!!! She smiled and said in her devilish grin, "well, somethings are .... but not you as a whole.." OMG!!!! This can not be happening.... I am too young. I want another baby...... bahahahahhahahhahhaa. She hands me this tiny patch and says, we can increase the dose as needed, it will help with the hot flashes and other symptoms. By this time I am crying hysterically and laughing at the same time.... oh my, I am one of those women about which I use to say, oh she must be going through the change.

I put my patch on and bravely tell my Mother, I am going through ..THE CHANGE. She proceeds to tell me the patch will kill me.... go figure.

So, the blog posts have been few and far between, but I did not want any of my faithful readers to think I had gone postal, so I kept quiet. After all this blog is suppose to be about the "sweetness" of my new life. I have had such a mixed bag of emotions, so happy about our little baby grandchild on the way, worried about my first born deployed, health issues for my GT guy, and just trying to figure out what I can give to this world of ours.... but more than anything, I realize through CHANGE we grow...... so, bring it on!!!!

Did You Ever?

This is a work in progress; but due to the slow nature of recent posts I thought I would just put it out there as something to chew on until motivation returns.
Keep praying,
Justin Buford



Did you ever have 20 teenage girls in your kitchen looking at you as if you were an alien?
Did you ever dip your chicken in the wasabi thinking it was guacamole and prayed no one was secretly taping you as you did the "Oh my God dance”?
Did you ever compete with a mouse and lose?
Did you ever fall asleep while your spouse was talking?
Did you ever wish that you could send yourself a message 30 years in the past?
Did you ever steal a pig?
Did you ever take a stolen pig to the Varsity?
Did you ever have a sink hole in your backyard and think of the people you would like to put in it?
Did you ever take a wrong turn just for the parent following you?
Did you ever claim to have read the LOTR series to impress a certain guy? But didn't really? (That would be The Lord of the Rings)
Did you ever buy a noisy gift for a niece or nephew just to get revenge?
Did you ever pick up a child’s room using a trash bag?
Did you ever wake up just to listen to your spouse talk in their sleep?
Did you ever dance around the house for hours while no one was home?
Did you ever go to an outdoor wedding when the temperature was 95 and the humidity was 100%?
Did you ever lose your keys only to find them locked in your car after searching for hours?
Did you ever take a date to Waffle House?
Did you ever listen to your child’s butt call and get TMI?

to be continued…

Princess in the Making

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a Princess. I remember seeing Cinderella on TV as some type of musical, of course it was in Black and White but I just knew her gown was baby blue and I wanted that dress so bad. I wanted my hair piled on top of my head in ringlets and I wanted a tiara full of diamonds, but even then most of all I wanted those sparkling slippers.....guess a shoe thing starts early. Funny, I never gave much thought to the Prince, I was more fascinated with the pumpkin shaped carriage. I can pretty much say as a child I thought I was a princess; well at least till princess junior game along, somehow my tiara got a little crooked as she was the glory child, good grief they even called her Precious. So, I became a peasant, a commoner. Precious was the cute one with her blue eyes and her tan skin, her adorable foreign language. I was tiny and covered with freckles. It seems like I was missing my two front teeth for half my life. Precious and I did not have a whole lot in common, she went on to be cheerleader, beauty queen, perfect student, while I was pretty much the carefree , fiddle de dee, Scarlett. Watching Kate this morning walking down the aisle with her sister behind her, made me laugh and think of my sister. What parents name one sister Kate Elizabeth and the other Pippa?? Did they know Kate would be a princess? Was Kate always the "precious" and Pippa the "Scarlett"? I could tell by the admiration and love in her eyes that Pippa adores her sister. When I was younger, there was always that little sting of jealousy when my Dad refereed to my sister as 'Precious" but as the years went by, I must say that is exactly what she is to me...Precious. A sisters bond is like no other. Precious and I can tell each other anything, and we can also be the one to point out when the other is wrong. It was she and I who held my Dad's hand as he took his last breath on this earth, and I honestly believe he went as soon as my sister told him it was ok, we would take care of Mom and Brother. It was Precious who has had to deliver difficult news to me on more than one occasion, and she knows how to keep me calm. My sister literally delivered my daughter and I like to claim I delivered hers. If they were not 10 years apart I would swear we got them mixed up, because hers is a Diva like me and mine is a Precious like her. As much as I wanted to be a Princess, I am always honored to walk behind... Beside my Precious. After all, I really just wanted the tiara and the shoes, and lucky me, I got the Prince anyway!!!!

A spoonful of Sugar

It has been awhile since I have written. Not that I don't have a thousand Sugarbytes running through my mind, I just have had "cold fingers". Seems some of my work hurt and/or offended a few people and others thought my words were too personal. I have never been one to take criticism well, after all I am, in my own, mind a Diva. I say in my own mind because lately when I pass my reflection it scares the holy crap out of me. Who is that person? Do I really know her? Would I want to hang out with her?
I do know one thing for certain about her, she is so much stronger than she ever dreamed she could be. She has survived the deepest of pain, and came out the other side with a new understanding of love. She has been knocked down and blown away and came back to stand even taller in her three inch heels. She did learn that sometimes the pain will rear its ugly head again, but that is ok, after two children and 27 years of marriage you should feel a little pang when your ex re-marrys, of course it doesn't help much in our new "facebook" age when people are very insensitive. Yes, she has shown emotions that she was surprised by, but you know what, she thinks that is ok. She thinks it makes her even more thankful than before.

So, enough said on that. Back to the latest from Sugarville.

I have really started to learn my way around here pretty well. I hardly ever use "betty", the bitchy GPS, any longer. I can get to every major shopping area with my eyes closed, of course that would not be wise. I have figured out which is my favorite Kroger and I consider the owners of the laundry my new friends. GT man has introduced me to sushi, and although for my first bite I had to close my eyes, I will say that I do love it! I guess the Saki kind of helps. Learning to use chopsticks was a whole other matter.....yes, I know what you are thinking; there is just no way a GRIT girl is going to pick up tiny bits of food with two sticks and make it look natural. Then again, when asking for a fork in a Sushi joint, expect to be sneered at. Anywhoo, life was going along, with a few bumps here and there, when my military boy, my oldest child, calls and tells me that I am going to be a GRANDMOTHER. Now, lets understand completely, I could not be happier, I can't wait for this little baby to arrive, even though it is clear across the country. My dilemma is the name.... no not the baby name, my name. I am like everyone else in the south these days and I have to have my own name.... I refuse Granny, Grandmother, Nana. All great names but in my case these are women I know already, and great women at that. My Granny is 89 years young, still drives and will tell you what you need to hear whether you want to hear it or not, and one of the best dressers in Fayette County. The Nana in my life was really a Helen, and there should be a book written about that little feisty Italian woman. She could make a grown man run circles. My children still have their Grandmother, who is a fine sweet, southern woman, and of course there is my Mom also known as, Ooh Mom., there will never be another ooh mom, my Mom is the greatest Grandmother ever, my two think of her as a second Mother. So, what to name me.....my sister says I should go with Lady Ga Ga, I like KK (my initials) too many options but so important. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am thinking that the greatest gift of a Grandchild is you have already made all your mistakes with your child, now with the Grandchild it is just love, love, love and sit back with a smile watching your own do the raising.....My son and Daughter in law will be very entertaining to watch, in fact they should have a reality show, but one thing is for sure, this baby will be loved and cherished.
So, in closing, my path has taught me, there will be hurt and pain when you least expect it, and when you think it will last forever, God sends another miracle your way... life is sweet as sugar..........

Pink Slip

Amy Grant has a song that says, "We pour out our misery, God just hears a melody"  well, I am thinking I am keeping God in tune these days.... depending on the day he could either be humming to Keith Urban or Flo- Rider.........  that's where I seem to be, either very mellow or totally crazy. Unfortunately for my husband there is no in between.
My part time job ended after the holidays since it was seasonal and so ended my friendship with my Spanish speaking friend from Wally World.  I don't think she ever caught on that we were girlfriends, but I do miss my weekly visits with her.  I know I must have made a little bit of an impression because the last time I was there she had on pink lip gloss and a leopard scarf with her khaki pants and blue shirt. Brings a smile to my face just remembering.....
So, not only am I on the search for a new friend but a part time job as well, I say part time but honestly I could even work full time, it is not like I have children that need me anymore....  oh how I miss those days of  school events and rushing here and there for whatever activity they were in at the time. I remember always being frazzled and worrying if I would or could get it all done. Now I just get frazzled when I look in the mirror and see a new line around these green eyes. I guess the reality of it is that when you have children you take on the most important job of your life, and you put every ounce of emotion into it, love, fear, guilt, pride, anger, you get up in the morning and know that these little people count on you for their every need. You train them to hopefully be fulfilled, independent people and after millions of dollars are poured into the effort you wake up one morning and the house is empty and you realize you received the ultimate pink slip. You find yourself aimlessly packing a peanut butter lunch and cutting off the crust, then standing at the counter, unpacking it and eating it yourself.
Everyone talks about the thrill of finally being an empty- nester but no-one tells you about the grieving period in between the pink slip and the moment you realize you can re-do their room.

God blessed me with children, and I hope that along with all the crazy times they will remember (like the midnight fire drills, and the "baby sister" alter personality), they will look back and and smile and say, job well done. But until that shining day,  I am preparing a resume.......what do I qualify for???   Cook, maid, chauffeur, financial advisor, valet, coach, spiritual advisor, comedian, party planner, negotiator, referee, Emergency Medical Technician, counselor, college planner,  pet sitter,  fashion coordinator, loan officer......
Surely that makes me qualified for SOMETHING........ oh and for the record, I make a killer peanut butter sandwich.

Fashion Forward is the way to go...ALWAYS!

An email from my daughter, I guess the peach doesn't fall far from the tree!
Try not to cry...

Well here we are again... Day three or something like that with no phone, which in current technology times equals a million years with no human contact. Anywho, I use my phone as my alarm clock religiously. I normally have two two alarms set for each day one ten min before I need to get up and one that tells me to get up now. So without a phone I needed some way to tell me to get up, so I did the logical thing and set the alarm on my i-touch. I set two for this morning. One at 7:15 and one at 7:25, since my class starts at 9:00, I figured that gave me an hour before I had to catch the shuttle and leave. So I finish up studying for my test and decided that painting my nails would simply have to wait since the test comes first, which is what any sensible college girl would do. So I wash my face off, literally because without makeup I have no face, at least I'm sure that's what most men my age would think about girls, and I crawl into bed and fall fast asleep. I wake up at 6:41 and then get some water and go back to bed since my alarms hadn't gone off. But they never did. By some miracle I woke up 8:30, which is the exact time the shuttle leaves, and I threw on a pair of jeans and an aoii t-shirt and my hair up in a ponytail and quickly put on some lip gloss and rush out of my dorm and hop into my car! I was in PURE panic mode. I prayed to God, Mary, Mark, John, Paul, George, and even Ringo to please let me get there on time and before he hands out that test! Well they answered and I parked and ran in (with a few others) right at 9! The professor just smiled and said good morning and handed us the test. I took it with ease and dreadfully marched to my next class since I still had no make-up on and looked in lack of better words....tragic. In fact if I was auditioning for the movie Misery they would have booked me with no questions or even a cold read. I looked that rough. But I toughed it out and conquered that class and then went to my dorm and freshened up just a tad before History. History which is always my favorite class was a bust! We had a pop quiz and the kid behind me who had rubber soled shoes decided that since it was raining he would try his hardest to make them squeak. I almost turned around and told him that if he squeaked one more time I'd make him squeak when my foot went up his batooty! But I took a deep breath and continued the class with a smile. When I got out it was raining so me and my polk-a-dot rain boots and matching umbrella (courtesy of Santa) trotted back to the dorm and rushed to do homework. I finished my Spanish online work and practiced saying the most import words I would ever need to know in Spanish "yes I will marry you" and made sure it was perfect and then finally hopped in the shower! It was like heaven smiled upon me. I took an hour to do my hair and makeup and then picked out my outfit. I chose to wear my jeans with my chucks and a pink sweater with a black shirt underneath it. Then I took the shuttle to main campus and went to have dinner with some friends. Mandi had cooked baked ziti for us and we ate and talked and laughed and then me and her walked over to Chi Alpha, our bible study. After bible study we swapped sweaters, she's borrowing my pink one while I'm borrowing her long purple one and planned our outfits because I was raised to plan ahead! I had the outfit planned to a T. I was going to wear my black skinny pants with zebra flats and a black t-shirt with the purple sweater and have my hair pulled back and wear my zebra glasses. Too cute, I know. Well apparently the Greek Gods thought it was going to be too cute to  because when I went back to lay it out I realized my flippin black skinnies were AT HOME! IN SUGAR HILL!  and everyone knows that SugarHill is the same distance as China from here! I could have cried.In fact I plopped down in the middle of my closet and looked up to the heavens and simply shook my head. I was SO disappointed, but I know every woman has been there at least once in her life and if you claim you haven't been then all I can say is "bless you heart" because your lying. Anyway that's a different topic for a different day but I sat there for a few minuets in defeat before I came up with a plan. What would any great woman of history do in this situation? What would Jackie O do? Or Aubry? Or Kerry? Or Cindy? Or Marilyn? I tried to get into their mindset when it hit me. I would simply get a pair of old jeans that were just a tad too short and cuff them at the bottom. That way they would look just like capri's and still be slimming since they are dark jeans and still show off my zebra. I was so proud of my idea, of course I'm not sure it will turn out like I hope, since I normally change clothes ten times before leaving the dorm, but anyways I thought that was just the perfect solution! When you don't have that perfect outfit but can still come up with a perfect solution like it was your original idea all along....well that's what I call thinking fashion forward ladies! I mean honestly who needs the latest trends? I don't think half of those are "fashion forward" anyway..excuse me if you disagree but I just can't see how wearing skirts that cover one batooty cheek is moving forward in the fashion area...I see it more as moving backwards, like your trying to fit into a skirt you wore in first grade...but what do I know; I was only trained by the best!

Sincerely,
Your Daughter

p.s.
Don't forget to put on some lipstick before you go to bed...you never know if an EMT will have to some and save you...and he might be cute!

A Mother's Pride

I will never ever forget the first time I laid eyes on my son, Evan. I knew in that very instant that this was a love like no other. He was a tiny thing, beautiful, and I never dreamed for a second that he would become a soldier one day. My life has been full because of my Evan. From the very start he had mischief in his eyes. He was our Prince Charles, and I say "our" because it definitely took a whole village. He was only three months old his first Halloween and five adults carried him around the neighborhood in his little tiger suit to show him off. I don't believe that for the first two years that he was ever put down. He brought so much joy and laughter to all of us. Entertainment is putting it mildly, and adventure like no other.  He was called Fred by my Dad, and to this day he can get his way with my Mom with just a look. My Brother and Sister have loved him like he was their own. His younger sister thinks he hung the moon, at least when he was not trying to hang her from some zip line device.  I thought I was proud of him the day he graduated College, especially since Evan REALLY enjoyed college. I have been a happy spectator watching him fall in love and I was beaming with pride as he watched his Bride walk down the aisle. I never saw this coming...  when he first told me he was joining the Army I was horrified, doesn't he realize we are at war?  I would spend nights laying awake trying to think of ways to convince him not to do this, but anyone that knows my Evan, knows that you don't tell him what to do.  The day he left for basic was very hard for me;  I wanted, as all Mothers do, to protect and to make life easy. I finally realized that this precious young man is not mine, he is not ours. He is God's.  I know God has a plan and I know Evan will do great things. I know the Army will also never be the same.....   he is my son, he is my Hero.  God's Speed my precious boy.

Girls Day Out

The snow and ice are finally melting away here in Sugarville. It was beautiful and nice for the first day but by day five it was wearing a little thin on this GRIT girl's nerves. Granted, GT boy likes an adventure so we did have to get out on the roads a time or two. I could see the excitement and grin come across his eyes each and every time the tires started to spin a little. Of course I had a death grip on my seat and a look of holy terror in my eyes, wondering why on earth I felt the need to even be in the car, and wondering if the paramedics had to come would I have on the right shade of lipstick..... 

I must say though, he is a good sport.  The day we finally decided to spend the day out, I convinced him to get a pedicure with me. He has felt my pain long enough over not having a girlfriend up here so he decided that he would be my girlfriend for the day. My GT guy went in there like he has been doing it all his life, he didn't even blink an eye when they asked him if he wanted to pick a color.... pulled off his big old boots, his hiking socks, and dipped those huge feet into the water.  I have never laughed so hard watching them scrub the bottom of his feet and him jumping in the chair like a six foot 2 Mexican jumping bean.  I am sure at that point he was having second thoughts but I was just getting our day started.......  all true GRIT girls know that you just don't go get a pedicure and go home...  you must go shopping, and stop somewhere to talk about everything... so we went to a great little furniture/consignment shop and he did well pretending to show some interest in some items, but I must say this, we do not have the same taste.  The shopping experience was cut short by a "LOUD TALKER", you know the type, walks into a store talking non stop on their cell phone and not even in a courteous discreet voice but in one of those, I want everyone in Georgia to hear my conversation voices. I tried to get close enough to say, "Bless your Heart" but she was in her own little cell phone world, and my temper was about to come through so GT guy ushered me right out the door.  Then we had to go to Starbucks and get a salted caramel hot chocolate, yummy. There we sat and talked about the future, the past and the Lady sitting across from us that had on way too much lipstick, and way too dark. We went for a nice freezing walk in the park, I of course could not ruin my pedi so I had to walk in my flip flops, which confused GT guy because he said what good is the pedicure if you have frost bite... men.  We ended up at Ippolito's for a wonderful dinner, where I convinced him that we should go home and watch Beauty and The Beast, and give me a foot massage.  Gotta love a man that will do all that for his Lady.   I am sure there is some boy movie I will have to go see in my near future, maybe several, throw in a trip to FRY's and REI and a conversation on the types of camera lenses and how they work. Love is an amazing thing when done right.  I thank God every single day for the love of my GT guy. He can be my girlfriend any day of the week!!

Letter to Louise

Dear Louise,
I am sitting here in my fuzzy pants looking out at the mounds of snow that have me sequestered here in Sugarland. I am dying to get some retail therapy. I would even gladly spend an hour or two at Wallyworld. I guess that says something..... Even though I am rocking the fuzzy pants with my heels and my lipstick , I am starting to feel like I am in an institution for the fashion challenged. It hasn't helped that Michael has also been in his GT pants for three days. I scared myself when I went into the bathroom this morning and saw the reflection staring back at me....scary puts it mildly, I looked a little like Bette Davis on crack. Remember how fantastic we looked the night of the Garth concert; you in your mink and glimmering head to toe, me in my faux fur and feeling tall. Then we stood in the bone chilling air, surrounded by thousands, packed like little sardines in the Nashville streets. I remember when we got inside, you still looked like a glamor Queen and I looked like I had been run over by a salt truck. Oh well, it was a night to remember for sure. Tommy and Michael standing on their feet singing Garth songs..... well... ok,standing on their feet.
I need a pedicure day with my Louise. It is always fun when we go together and I am sure it is fun for the manicurists as well. Don't you know that they talk about us for hours after we leave!!  Actually , I think they talk about us right in front of us. Next time we go I am going to pretend that I understand and call them out on it. Anyhoo, we can go for a pedi and you will take in your color and I will once again pick something outrageous,  we will laugh hysterically as they ask us once again if we are sisters. Then we will go have a glorious lunch where we will be sure to tell the waiter that no tomato guts are to touch your plate. We will sit and talk about our precious young Drama Queens and their fascination with pigs. We will catch up on all the news of our families and share our fears and concerns over life's ever changing road. We will laugh out loud and people will stare, we will cry and quietly wipe the tears. We will say our goodbyes over a big hug and I will make the long drive back to Sugarville rocking out to Miranda Lambert 's  "Time to get a Gun" reminiscing.....
Everyone should have a Louise. I have spent too much time focusing on not having a girl friend up here in Sugarville and not realizing the treasure I have. No matter where life takes us, no matter what life throws our way, we will always have this friendship. Our adventures have been priceless, from Spring Hill to Bocca and Nashville, to our Fayetteville days. The bond, unbreakable as we have been through the loss of our fathers, the trials of health, the depths of sadness and despair, but oh the laughter.....  that is what I will remember when I am 90.  You do make me laugh, Louise.  In fact, you should be the one with the BLOG.  So, as I sit here sequestered and not able to go out and beg for friendship, I have realized miles are nothing between two friends. No matter where we both end up, no road is too long.  Augusta will never be the same after I come for a visit!! 
I think I will try and shower and see if I can't convince GT boy to play dress up with me. Yeah.....maybe I will just change into different fuzzy pants.
Love,
Thelma

A little spice with your sugar...

A New Year...... Two Thousand and Eleven.  I think I will start the New Year with a bit of a rant. What the heck ever happened to MANNERS????  Even here in the South where by golly if you didn't know or use your manners your momma would take a switch to your behind, they seem to have disappeared. We have a whole new generation of young people who seem to think they are just ENTITLED. What ever happen to setting goals, having responsibilities and demanding respect???   There is no such thing as thank you anymore, or please or I enjoyed it, or even just the courtesy of a smile, after all who do you think paid for those perfectly straight white teeth???  Parents, I hold a challenge to you for the New Year, be bold, be brave, start teaching your children , your teens, your young adults before it is too late. Hold them accountable, teach them that the real gift is in GIVING and not receiving. Teach them that older people are the lifeline to our past and can help us to have a better future. Teach them that helping others is not a chore but a remarkable blessing.  Take away the cell phones at the dinner table and at restaurants, teach them that a conversation may enlighten their world.  Go into their room at night and take the ear plugs from their ears and whisper , "I love You." 

Hold hands when you give thanks to the Lord up above for that nightly dinner and squeeze the persons hand to show you love them. When they roll their eyes at you because number one they don't believe in prayer and number two they don't want to touch you, pray a little harder and squeeze a little tighter.
Don't waste your time on criticizing their wardrobe, if they want to look like an idiot in torn to pieces jeans or clothing that needs to be on a makeover show, just smile and nod;  focus on what they are putting out there as human beings.
My two children are not perfect, they have their faults and moments just like everyone else, but I will say this, they have excellent manners and they use them. They can carry a conversation. They treat people with respect and they are both very caring young adults who would help a stranger..... and if they didn't...... this Sugarville girl would stomp outside with her finest heels and pick the cutest switch she could find...... take the challenge!