Monday, September 12, 2011

Change is near.....


They call it MENOPAUSE;

Ok, let's just start with that... of course they have to throw in the word MEN, after all they will inevitably get the brunt of the whole thing. But, is the word actually trying to indicate that we should take a pause from men at this stage in the game? Then there is of course the other kinder phrase.. you know, she is going through, "THE CHANGE".

You got that right buddy, she has changed from a calm, sweet, cool and comfortable southern girl to a crazed, irrational, sweaty hot mess, who if she hears that word "CHANGE" one more time she may start shooting.

It is like someone flipped a switch in my body. One night I am sleeping away, waking up happy and rested and the very next night it was BOOM; I am wide awake in the middle of the night with some type of lava lamp glowing from the inside, radiating to the outside. I am sweaty and have the uncontrolable urge to knock GT guy off the bed since he is sleeping like a baby. Does he not feel the heat??? Oh, that's right, it's not THAT type of heat. This goes on for days, along with the fact that I feel like I could do serious damage to people in Kroger with my buggy, just because.

So silly me, I am convinced that I am dying. I just know that something terrible is growing inside my body and causeing me to turn into Cathy Bates from Misery. So instead of breaking GT guys knee caps and holding him hostage, I go to the Doctor. I love my doctor; number one she is a female, number two she is not skinny, and number three, she held my hand and cried with me when I found out the first husband was cheating on me. So, I told her, that I am dying. I just need to know what from. She did not bat an eye, did her exam, took my chubby little cheeks in her hands and said, "you are not dying, you are starting MENOPAUSE".

What???? How dare she!!!!!!! I am dying!!!!! She smiled and said in her devilish grin, "well, somethings are .... but not you as a whole.." OMG!!!! This can not be happening.... I am too young. I want another baby...... bahahahahhahahhahhaa. She hands me this tiny patch and says, we can increase the dose as needed, it will help with the hot flashes and other symptoms. By this time I am crying hysterically and laughing at the same time.... oh my, I am one of those women about which I use to say, oh she must be going through the change.

I put my patch on and bravely tell my Mother, I am going through ..THE CHANGE. She proceeds to tell me the patch will kill me.... go figure.

So, the blog posts have been few and far between, but I did not want any of my faithful readers to think I had gone postal, so I kept quiet. After all this blog is suppose to be about the "sweetness" of my new life. I have had such a mixed bag of emotions, so happy about our little baby grandchild on the way, worried about my first born deployed, health issues for my GT guy, and just trying to figure out what I can give to this world of ours.... but more than anything, I realize through CHANGE we grow...... so, bring it on!!!!

2 comments:

  1. LOL...everything that you have written is exactly true and you have done a wonderful job of expressing what all of us are going through!!! Great job!!!Its good know that I am not the only one having these wonderful feelings!!!

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  2. Thank Goodness you "CHANGED" your mind and began writing again. I need me some good Sugar Bytes to get me through the Change.

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