Sunday, October 31, 2010

Shopping for Friends

Well............ this time I may make the news. Or at least the Daily Gwinnett   ( I am so proud, I finally learned to spell it)   I realized that I don't have one single friend within a 60 mile radius, much less 2 miles.  So, I started thinking, how did I meet my closet friends in Fayetteville??  Well, I met them all through kids in school and church. OK, so I set out a plan. First I would drive to the nearest elementary school and act like I was bringing a forgotten lunch to a kid. My plan was once inside , grab the nearest woman and tell her I thought she looked familiar. Then from there we would end up at the Sugar Hill diner for lunch where we would bond and become friends for life. Only problem was when I pulled in the parking lot all the Moms looked to be 20 somethings, and everyone was staring at me like I was a granny in the wrong side of the car pool lane.  OK, option two, church. Well, I don't want to be Baptist anymore, I can't decide between Jewish or Catholic. So, until I make up my mind, I don't see that working so well for me. I finally just went bananas. I was in Kroger, feeling sorry for myself , talking to myself up and down the aisles, when I spotted her. She was perfect, she had wide enough hips, was talking on her bedazzled  cell phone, not texting, and best of all she had on leopard shoes.  I started by circling around so that I would be going up the aisle as she was going down. My only problem was , she kept talking on the phone. So 4 aisles later and nothing in my buggy, I lost control and rammed her head on and screamed bloody murder, "Will you be my friend or not???"   I swear to you, I have never seen someone run out of their shoes before......   but don't feel too sorry for me, they were a perfect size 6.  I may still be friendless, but I have a new pair of shoes and I may make the news!!!!    :))))))

Till next time,
Suzanne Sugarbaker